Thank you for joining
me this evening. We are here to have a
little fun, share ideas and talk like adults. The scenario that follows is not intended to
resemble anyone I know. If it does it is
purely coincidental. I hope my stories/questions are inviting
enough that you will join in the conversation.
With that being said lets have fun exchanging some words…..
You and a friend
(of the opposite sex) spend time together; alone and with other friends. You do the usual things that friends do;
dinners, movies, out for drinks; just an all around good time. You've been there to see your friend's dates
(good and bad). One night (against your
better judgment) things get physical between you and your friend. The night goes great and after a few more
time you and the friend decide to take it to the next level. Before you know it your friend is now your
boyfriend/girlfriend. Now feelings are
involved but other than that and the title (boyfriend/girlfriend) nothing else
has changed. You still hang out with the same friends and the good times
continue.
After dating for about two years the relationship hits a rough patch and you and your girlfriend/boyfriend decide that you should end the relationship, it's just not working. The break up is amicable and there are no hard feelings.
After dating for about two years the relationship hits a rough patch and you and your girlfriend/boyfriend decide that you should end the relationship, it's just not working. The break up is amicable and there are no hard feelings.
Now comes the
hard part. Can you go back to being just
friends like you once were? Can you
hang out with someone that you once had real feelings for?
With time yes. I've been through this before where my friend and I decided to become more than just friends. Well after 3 years of being in a relationship we decided to part ways. Well we didn't go back to being friends again until 5 years later and now we are cool but not as we once were but cool. So it's possible with time.
ReplyDeleteI think it can be done BUT it will be hard. Really hard!! Thanks for your words Anonymous.
DeleteI agree with anonymous. I think with time, if your friendship was/is REAL and as stated the breakup was amicable, you can eventually get back to being friends and hanging out. But...both individuals have to be ready for it. If one of you still has lingering feelings...it won't work.
ReplyDeleteOnce you take that step to be boyfriend/girlfriend things can get rocking. Even though break ups are amicable, feelings do get involved depending on how long you have dated. One thing you have to ask your self are you ready to here about your friend talking about another person that they are dating, and are you really ready to accept the fact that it is over. Or if you are secertly
ReplyDeleteholding on to the notion that the break up is temporarily, and there is a chance that you can rekindle the fire. People say they can remain friends but sometimes you need seperation for a little while to let the wounds heal.
Shirley, time may be one thing that helps but either way I think it would be difficult to go back. Thanks for your words.
DeleteI agree with anonymous. I believe that with time, if the friendship was/is real and as stated the breakup was amicable, the friendship can eventually be restored to what it once was. But...if any of the two individuals still has feelings...it won't work. Been there, done that, and a year and a half after the breakup he wasn't ready to just be my friend...still isn't.
ReplyDeleteOnce feeling, real feelings are thrown into the mix I think going back to just friends would be very hard to do. Thanks for your words Sasha.
DeleteI have never been in a relationship with someone who I was good friends with. However I tried remaining friends with an ex after several years of being together, and it just would not work. There were feelings still there and he did not know how to just be friends. So i would venture to say I could not go back to just being friends. It wouldn't work.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you Anonymous, just seems like it would be a hard thing to do......to me. Thanks for your words.
DeleteI have a friend that I dated and the L word was used a lot.....but the break up was ugly. It was ruff. It only took a yr for us to get over break up and now we r better friends than before. We discuss current and past relationships without jealousy. We still love each other but instead of romantic love its now a friendship love.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you found a good friend Steph. Thanks for your words.
DeleteJust because the breakup was amicable does not mean that one or the other doesn't still have feelings...hopes of getting back together. It's a hard thing (been through a similar situation) and the previous friendship will NEVER go back to what it was. Everything is different now. You can be friends, but once that line is crossed, it is very hard to not cross it again...whether it's just jump off sex or whatever. Especially when there's drinking involved, flirting, etc. Just my opinion...
ReplyDeleteI totally agree Curious Gal, once you step over that line it is never, NEVER the same.... in my opinion. Thanks for your words Curious Gal.
ReplyDelete