Thank you for joining me this evening. We are here to have a little fun, share ideas and talk like adults. The scenario that follows is not intended to resemble anyone I know. If it does it is purely coincidental. I hope my stories/questions are inviting enough that you will join in the conversation. With that being said lets have fun exchanging some words…..
Today I'm changing it up a little. The blog question this week comes from a young lady that wants a little advice...here's her question.....
Why is it that when a woman invites a man over (before booty call hours) to just kick it he either tries his hand or just assume that she wants to have sex. There are women out there that just just wanna chill and just have the company of a man so what makes him just assume; and how do women feel about a man that comes over expecting more than just her company..does she continue to deal with him after discussing that she doesn't want to have sex or does she give him the boot and move on to the next?
Well youngandlookin'forhelp (that's what we'll call her) here's my take on it. Most of the time the guy will go by what he's presented with. If you past actions were sex when he came to visit that's what he's going to be looking for. Also if most of your conversations are about sex guess what...that's what he's going to be looking for. When talking to the guy if you make it clear that you are interested in his company and nothing more he should respect that. If he can't then he's not someone you need to waste your time with.
But that's just my take on it....
If your dealings with a man have always been sexual, then that's what he is going to expect. If you express that you want to remove sex from the equation, he will respect it and adjust If he sees you as more than a piece of ass. It may take him a while to adjust, but hang in there with him if he is a good guy. He's a man, so he's gonna try lol. Whether sex was ever in the equation or not, once you express your feelings that you are only interested in company and nothing more...it should be respected. If he cannot accept it...ADIOS!!!!
ReplyDeleteI agree 100% nonookie. Thanks for your words.
DeleteDump that zero and get you a hero.
ReplyDeleteI love it!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteI hear you Dougie Fresh lol. Thanks for your words.
DeleteYou should have a conversation about how that makes you feel.
ReplyDeleteAnd if he can't respect your feelings then he is not the friend you thought he was.
BOOM.... And there is the dynamite.
That just happened Anonymous lol. And thanks for your words!!! lol
DeleteThanks for your words
ReplyDeleteHe is a man. He will desire you. That is ok. But it is an opportunity to train him to respect you until you get to a place where you are ready to explore intimacy with him. If he can't respect you, then drop him.
ReplyDeleteok LoveAlwaysWIns.....you kinda lost me with the "train him". I mean I know women think we are all dogs but geesh! lol I don't think it's a thing about training. The fact is if the two of them are spending time together there must be some kind of attraction. But if he can't understand and get it through his head that every time he is around her it's not all about sex then they want different things form the friendship. Thanks for your words LoveAlwaysWins.
DeleteWe are always training each other in what we like, don't like, etc. So don't take it as a negative. And I don't think all men are dogs. I appreciate the beauty of a man even if I have had experiences that could probably sway me to have a general perception of the bad behavior of some men. If every time he is around her, he is making advances and refuses to respect her wishes, then yes, she needs to drop him. Thank you for allowing me to express me Tracy Jackson.
DeleteTracy Jackson thanks you for your words....
DeleteI agree with you Tracy. It depends on what the mood is when this person is being invited over "before booty call hours". Just because it isn't midnight doesn't mean the host isn't walking around in lingerie claiming to "just hangout". Communication is definitely the key here. If there aren't any mixed signals and it has been previously discussed before your arrival that we are "just chilling" then he shouldn't assume otherwise.
ReplyDeleteWell said said Jai Donchaknow...communication is key!!! Thanks for your words Jai Donchaknow.
ReplyDelete